Time Travel
When out for an evening in one of Japan’s major cities, much as in other countries, you have a very important decision to make: Do I the last train home (usually around 11:30pm – 12:30am depending on train line and station) or do I take the first train home (around 5:00am – 5:30am)? This decision will shape not only your evening, but more than likely the next 48 hours.
Last Saturday, I was drinking with some friends in Yokosuka. Apparently I made a poor choice and what should’ve been a quick drink escalated into chaos.
Now I’ve been known to enjoy (and often advovcate) impromptu chaos, but by the time 5am approached, I was reasonably worse for wear and in dire need of my bed. Luckily I live only 15 minutes from where I had been drinking, so I headed to the station and confidently stepped on the first train…
The following dialogue chronicles my reaction to when I awoke 4 hours later to find myself on the outskirts of Tokyo and a considerable distance from my home. After a Darth Vader-esque “Noooooo!” (or “Do Not Want!!!!” depending on your preference), I felt compelled to email Chau from my phone and voice my displeasure. Chau was his usual helpful self.
A – 9:06am:
I HATE first train so much. A
C – 9:06am:
from where?
A – 9:10am:
anywhere
i live 15mins from yokosuka. I am still not home.
i want to kill. A
C – 9:11am:
maybe you can thwart the zombie apocalypse with your anger.
A – 9:15am:
I will thwart your mum with my anger.
why the f**k do those useless c**ting train staff not wake ppl up!? they all need to be raped. savagely. by an unclean lion. for 8 days. covering Golden Week. with a comb. while their very disappointed parents and disaffected children watch. A
C – 9:19am:
unfortunately I am unable to empathise lying in my comfortable bed warm under my duvet at home. life is warm
[After sleeping and missing my stop again]
A – 10:08am:
I hope u drown in ur own warmth. I just got home. from a 15 f**cking minute journey. I want everyone to die. especially u. A
C – 10:10am:
[A variety of smiley faces and love hearts and other lameness]
A – 10:20am:
lol worst person ever. A
[I am now safely back at home and asleep in bed]
C – 11:41am:
yup. hope this message wakes you up
[After several hours sleep and waking up to feeling like my brain was broken]
A – 17:18pm:
ur mum woke me up. A
C – 17:19pm:
I woke up on your mum
A – 17:20pm:
lol touché. A
As you can no doubt imagine, Sunday was an unreasonably awful day.
